Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Angular Momentum

Can also !

Till then...

Alec Smart said: "Is it worth it if she throws up?"

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Dilli Ki Sardi :)

Now that the winter is truly here, and the warm clothes are out of the boxes smelling of mothballs, one has started enjoying the sun again.  Sigh, but I only have three more days here to enjoy it all :( . Shelling peanuts and struggling to break off pieces of gajak from the big cake, and soaking in the sun while playing cricket or soccer is THE thing to do during winters. The sun sets at about 5:30 p.m. nowadays, so sports in the dark nowadays can be cold and troubling. But running for the ball feeling the cold wind slap against your face really feels divine. This year the winter seems to be normal (though the government thinks otherwise, extending school holidays), and the temperature did fall a little bit in end December and the early part of January, but has climbed back again to make Delhi the best destination for tourists this side of the Suez canal, the carnage in Mumbai notwithstanding.

The fog is totally coming in nowadays making Delhi winters really what they are. Air travellers get hit by delays, but hey, the smell of winter, the chillness of the fog, the warmth of that cuppa of coffee, and the fuzzy good feeling of a Sunday wandering on Janpath is what Delhi winters is all about. I shall enjoy it to the fullest in whatever time I have left in this beautiful city.

Just to give you an idea as to how bad the fog can get here, I managed to click some pictures:

         This was at 10 pm. Notice the tree in the foreground and the lights behind  

               And this is at 12 midnight... voila... lights still there but where's the tree?

Till then...

Smart Alec said: "Like Henry Ford's cars, the Americans can have a president in any colour of their choice, provided he's Black."


Monday, January 5, 2009

Insanely Vile Response System

I recently dialled the Indian Railways Helpline to enquire about some services. The IVR system was so pissing off! Had to go through a labyrinth of options before I got to speak with the call center guy. And that too after i dont know how many rings. Lol and the girl who finally picked was an IVR system on her own. "Good morning sir. Welcome to Indian Railways. I am *inserts name here* at your service. How can I help you." And this sentence was spoken with so much speed that only the "help you" part at the end was discernible. A classic example of a student from one of those 'Rapidex English Course - Learn phast and phluent english in 15 days!' . 
Later that day and fittingly so, I also came across an article on a similar topic. Would like to share it with you to express my anger and point out the hopelessness of such similar pathetic and lamentable call center services.

I call them phoney phone care services. You know the kind I'm talking about. You phone your credit card phone number with an urgent question. That's when the whole phoney care begins. Press 1 to talk in Hindi, Press 2 for English, Press 3 for Hinglish, Press 4 for Swahili...once that is done the nonsense continues. Press 1 if you are blah banking customer, Press 2 if you are an illegal alien, Press 3 if you are a three toed midgetm and so on and on. Finally about one huor later you reach 'Thank you for calling Blah Bank, all our customer care operators are busy right now but your call is important to us, we love you and want to have your baby so do hold the line. Of course by that time you've forgotten why you called in the first place!

Now can you imagine what happens if this continues spreading like the virus that it is. Thank you for calling emergency ambulance services. Press 1 if you are having a heart attack, Press 2 if you are having a stroke, Press 3 if your kidneys are failing and if it's a headache, press your head! Once you get past that then it's on to Press 1 if your heart is beating at more than 100 beats a minute. Press 2 if you've had a heart attack before. Finally when you get through they say...thank you for calling. Your heart is important to us, all our ambulances are busy right now, could you reschedule your attack for 9 a.m. tomorrow morning?

Or how about, thank you for calling. Press 1 if it is a huge big fire. Press 2 if you are in the middle of the fire. Press 3 if you started the fire. You press 2 and then your options are Press 1 if your clothes are on fire, Press 2 if you have started choking. Finally you get through to the last section and hear...thank you for calling, we care about your fire but our executives have all been fired... pour a glass of water on the fire and call back in two weeks. 

Not to mention... thank you for calling the Anti Terrorist Wing. Press 1 if you think you've seen a terrorist, Press 2 if you are a hostage, Press 3 if you've seen a bomb being planted, Press 4 if the room service guy is carrying an AK47 and of course Press channel 8 if you want to see it all on TV!

How phoney can you get!

So rightly put.

Till then...

Smart Alec said: "So Mr. Graeme Smith, what do you have to say about your phenomenal series victory down under. 'Austr-ko le-lia !!!' "